Finished book #44 of 2004:

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We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle.

A book of essays--mostly funny--by Celia Rivenbark. She hits part of the Southern lifestyle just right. But I thought her funniest things were about motherhood.

Here's an excerpt from the first essay "Stop Watching Your Plasma TV and Start Selling Your Plasma!", which is about how to be White Trash (WT for short):

For starters, bad TV is a huge part of the WT lifestyle. White trash women spend their last dime calling Miss Cleo at the Psychic Sc***-You Network. It takes a WT brain to stare at the screen at the butt-crack o' dawn and say: "Hey, she's never met me and knows nothing about me but I bet this crazy island woman can tell me what my future will be."

But it's her take on Chuck E. Cheese (my idea of hell) that is priceless:

Of course, the silver lining her is that, for every token, you earn "tickets" that can be redeemed for a prize before you leave. I don't want to imply that this is a rip-off, but the last time we went, I calculated that we spent $44.89 for a hot pink curly drinking straw. Of course that's because we only had 5,580 tickets. To actually get enough tickets to claim the foot-tall stuffed Chuck E. and the "prize redemption" counter, you'd have to physically move into the building and play stomp-the spider and skee-ball until you were old enough to develop cataracts, erectile dysfunction, and an inexplicable fondness for aspic.

Best read small bites at a time, it's a great nightstand book--one you can read 4 pages, laugh, then put it down without another thought.


Howdy! I just came from Donna's site. Having read that your first date with the hubby was at Dairy Queen, I just *had* to come meet this lady. :-) DH is from Eastern New Mexico- our foray "into the big city" was a drive to Midland or, for a big time out, Odessa! Oh, the memories. (We're currently doing time in one of the blue states...)

Anyhow, thoroughly enjoying getting to know y'all and wanted to say hi.



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This page contains a single entry by MamaT published on November 8, 2004 9:36 PM.

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