Have I told you lately how much I adore Charles Wesley?

Yes, it's my little secret. He wrote some of my most favorite hymns, including our opening hymn today:

Christ, Whose glory fills the skies,
Christ, the true, the only Light,
Sun of Righteousness, arise,
Triumph o’er the shades of night;
Dayspring from on high be near;
Day-star, in my heart appear.

Visit then this soul of mine,
Pierce the gloom of sin and grief;
Fill me, Radiancy divine,
Scatter all my unbelief;
More and more Thyself display,
Shining to the perfect day.

We sang it to the tune Ratisbon. If you don't remember how it goes, get thee over to www.cyberhymnal.org (a GREAT site) and listen to it.

As of late, I have been going through a bit of a spiritual dark spell. A time where I found it hard to even pray. Partly because I have been sick, and cannot shake this darn upper respiratory thing, and partly because my dearest PapaC has been working out of town for the past couple of months. I am certainly a weak creature, and I am NOT meant to be alone. While I have my dearest Zteen, and all my responsibilities to keep me busy, there is something in the dailiness of marriage that keeps me on track. When PapaC is gone even a short time, I find myself shutting down, narrowing down to a pinpoint of light. That is, I dare say, too much dependence on another human, but there you have it. And in that narrowing down, I had shut out God as well. I had made my days "dark and cheerless" and my mornings had been joyless indeed.

But over the last week, feeling that darkness, I have made an effort to turn toward God, even though I didn't feel like it. And the warming up has started--had started even before PapaC got to come home for the weekend! So this hymn had special poignancy for me this morning. I could sing, with all my heart, "Visit then this soul of mine! Pierce the gloom of sin and grief! Fill me, radiancy divine; scatter all my unbelief."

I am such an ungrateful daughter of so great a King. When I face the smallest of trials--nothing compared to what others face every single day--my tendency is the exact opposite of the truly healthy! I turn away from the source of light and warmth. What a silly, silly girl.