......about helicopter parents. This one is in the Boston paper, but there are others everywhere!
Since this is the age range I am currently dealing with, I find it interesting. Because Zteen is an only, PapaC and I have worried that we would be those "overinvolved" types--and we've worked hard to try to combat it. The fact is that Zteen will live at home during college, at least to begin with (at least until he can afford to do otherwise, or we win the lottery). So we're trying to figure out the boundaries for a kid who's nearly grown but still living at home.
Bless his heart, it's really not fair to him. If he were off at school, he'd have so much more freedom. I would worry about him, but I'd get used to it. Sort of.
But when he's living down the hall, I can't sleep if he's not at home. Why is that?
Have any of you dealt with this issue--kids at home going to college, learning to balance freedom with responsibility? How'd you handle it?
I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who knows a college kid who went away to school and came back fairly unscathed. I happen to know a lot - including many in my family, plus friends, neighbors, co-workers - who did the whole going-away-for-the-whole-college-experience thing and I can say that evey single one of them got 1) very drunk many times and 2) laid. (This includes some parents themselves) I'm starting to think that almost no one is mature enough to handle the social pressures of current-day college campuses and should commute until grad school.
Well, I can't speak for many others, but I know of at least one kid (and, for MamaT's benefit, an only child) who left home and lived by himself, and neither a) was continuously drunk nor b) got laid: me.
Now, I went to University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and thus I had access to the largest Newman Foundation in the country, one that has its own residence hall where I lived for all four years. Do not think, however, that the kids living at Newman were neccessarily less rambunctious than those who lived elsewhere; for example, I had a friend who had to get a roommate switch because his roommate was occasionally pursuing carnal embrace with a female. Done within visiting hours, of course. I also knew plenty of people who drank to excess.
So I had plenty of bad examples to follow, but I didn't follow them. My parents didn't hover; they had raised me well, and I kept in regular contact with them, so they knew what was going on. And, most importantly, I had the support of my serious Catholic friends, both at Newman and elsewhere.
I'm an unscathed one, too. I went to ND, which isn't exactly a dry campus :/ and managed to fall in with a wonderful prayer group there who helped me strengthen my faith while there, despite the... uh... range of options there.
--Amanda
Well, as a college freshman I can tell you that there are plenty of people on my floor and elswhere that drink, smoke and do all kinds of fun stuff. It's only been two weeks, but I've been able to generally pick out who they are and avoid them. I've met two (count em TWO) who are dedicated Catholics, very pure and very fun. So I stick with them and call it good. So it can happen. And for the record, I'm in San Francisco!