you'll forgive me, dear reader, if i'm a little late in reporting the news that barbie and ken have broken up. yes, i know, but it's true. and don't think mattel isn't milking this break up for everything it's worth. corporate pigs. milking this sordid affair for a buck! for shaaame.
after years of shacking up with ken, barb's decided to strike out on her own. well, i knew this was bound to happen as soon as barbie started putting her career before ken. she went from being a nurse to a doctor. then as soon as she started talking about equality, her clothes started getting skimpier and skimpier. then she started getting all uppity and feministy. the writing has been on the wall at least since the early eighties, people.
i assumed they were keeping up appearances for skipper's sake, but barbie's publicist hinted that she was tired of ken's "commitment phobia." but hey, as MamaT pointed out in her post below, it's the rare man who wants a wife who shows everything all the time to everyone.
i know i sound schizophrenic about this. am i, or am i not, happy that barbie and ken are no longer living in sin? well, according to some sources, barbie has already been linked to the "new and improved" male surfer doll, blaine. if this is the case she's just jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. i mean, really barbie. wake up and smell the coffee, honey.
blaine? the hottie from "down under" with his tight surfer shorts and blonde highlights? you mark my words, blaine is mattel's first gay doll.
on a the brighter side, according to mrs. dashwood, cathy and irving are engaged. thank goodness some couples still have true values.
Oh smock, I think it's more sordid than that.
I think Ken will soon be linked with Blaine. Barbie will be footloose and fancy free to sleep with a string of men who help her find out new things about herself.
She will tell a distraught Skipper that yes, she does love her but doesn't she deserve to be happy to?
Skipper and Barbie's strained relationship will limp along until Barbie comes home to find her latest beau in a compromising position with her little sister.
why, my dear mrs. scagel! i had no idea you've such a sick and twisted imagination! but, how fascinating.
Living in sin? I had thought they were brother and sister, but then this isn't exactly my area of chief interest.
first cousins - close enough I suppose!
Blaine, that's an appliance not a name...besides, from the look of Blaine, I think Barbie should be more concerned about his relationship with Benicio the poolboy than her sister.
Mark my words, Blaine will throw over Barbie in a heartbeat once he meets Ken. I can see it now: Ken will come over to pick up some of his last stuff, and will run into Blaine. Sparks will fly. But not THOSE kind of sparks. Romantic sparks!
Oh, dear. And Barbie has just spent all that time in the tanning booth and at the gym getting all buff and brown for her new sweetie.
Barbie will eat herself into a weight gain of about 50 pounds--leading to a great new tie in: Weight Watchers Barbie! Complete with her own little points calculator and food diary.
I know I'd buy one! I could put her right by my food diary for inspiration.
they've already pitched a WW barbie and it didn't work. consumers couldn't tell the difference between WW barbie and PMS barbie, so they discontinued her.
I don't know why anyone is worried about the sleeping arrangements. I mean, have you ever seen a Barbie or Ken undressed?
There are some more fundamental anatomical questions to be answered before we worry about who is sleeping with who.
obviously it's been awhile since kenny has picked up a barbie or her old beau.