mr. keilholtz, over t'his ranty pages, remarks on two phrases he thought he'd never have to say:
"amalia, stir that with a spoon, not with the tiger" and "don't put the hedgehog in your mouth."
of course, as any parent can attest, it is not unusual to find strange phrases, and sometimes just strange noises, dribbling, falling, or streaking out of your mouth and into posterity. the title of this particular post is probably the ickiest thing i've ever had to say to one of my chitlins -- and for the sake of saving his/her face, i'll not admit to whom the phrase was spoken. i just thank our merciful Lord that it didn't have to be said in front of company.
personally, i have an incredibly low threshold for "loud" -- being an only child does that to you, i guess. you would't believe the number of times i've told the children "no more happy! you're laughing too loud." it sound more awful than it really is because we've sort of turned it into a family joke. come bedtime it's "no more happy now, it's bedtime. you can laugh again tomorrow." at least it sounds better than this one that slipped out once, "hey! we're talking to God here -- you can't laugh when you're talking to God." which we immediately had to admit was not true. ah, but what's a parent to do?
ever since i had to tell my son to "get out of that shark cage now" i've been promising myself that i'd start making a list of these little sayings, but i never have gotten around to it. it's a shame, too.
"personally, i have an incredibly low threshold for 'loud' -- being an only child does that to you, i guess."
Oh me too -- I wasn't an only child, though, just the youngest by 11 years and alone with my widowed mother by the age of 10. I actually remember sitting in the living room two rooms away, with walls blocking the space directly between us, thinking my mother was turning the pages of the newspaper too loudly. It might be partly my nature, though, as my brother used to play drums in the basement on a regular basis before that, and I don't think I ever got used to the noise.
Smock, my dog warning is worse. With the McBaby we had to tell her: "Close your mouth, Mak! Quit letting the dogs lick your teeth!" She would crawl straight toward my mom's poodles with her mouth wide open for them to lick her.
Followed incessantly by: "Mak! Get the dog food OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!" She loved nothing better when she was tiny than a few handfuls of IAMS small bite dry dog food. We finally got to the point that we let her eat a bite (after asking the doctor if it would kill her), thinking it would cure her of the habit. NOPE. Even today, I sometimes catch her looking longingly at the bowl in the kitchen......
I have done a list but haven't added to it in quite awhile. My first one was "Don't play in your puke" (it was actually spit up, but ya know - that is what I SAID)