how'd you like to come home and find this on your front porch?

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gator.gif when truth is stranger than fiction, you know liberal green beanies must somehow be involved.

my in-laws have owned a fair piece of property here in Texas for about thirty years. it's a great piece of land that has lots and lots of trees and it even has a small natural spring that feeds into a pretty large pond. over the years they've built up a very nice house that they plan to retire in eventually. in the mean time, because they have a few cattle and horses roaming around, they go every weekend to tend to the animals and general upkeep of the land. also, we (the extended family) go "out to the property" several times a year. my husband's family is huge (he's one of eight children), and "the house on the property" is the only place large enough to house everyone and their children.

so you see, several times a year the whole clan gets together for special occasions, especially Christmas, Easter, independence day weekend and the like. in the warmer months, like the summertime, the family gathers even more frequently. the papas stand around the open barbeque pit telling tall tales poking at the chicken, steaks, and weenies on the fire. the mommas drink tea and play dominos on the front porch while they watch the children swim in the pond. it's absolutely idyllic. no kidding. it even makes this self-professed city gal thank God for the outdorn.

two weeks ago, bubba, my brother-in-law, mentions to my father-in-law (whom i call pop), "i saw something that looks like a gator swimmin' on the pond." to which pop replied, "naw, it's prolly just a beaver."

this past weekend nanny (my mother-in-law) and pop arrive at their personal property to find three guys with hunting rifles perched on the shore of their private pond. pop asks what they're doing on his land and they reply, "we're huntin' gators."

my mother-in-law proceeds to the game warden's office. indeed, he's out to lunch. so, she goes next door to the sheriff's office. the sheriff phones the game warden who admits that he recently released some alligators into the creek "behind" my in-laws property. it's at this point that the sheriff, baffled, hands to phone to my mother-in-law.

mr. warden proceeds to tell nanny that he "done it cuz the gators are endangered in that there area."
"what about my family?" she asks.
"they prolly shouldn't go near the water."
"what about my grandbabies? they're out here all the time. this is dangerous. is there some kind of trap we can set?"
"oh no! you can't trap the gators unless they hurt somebody. it would be illegal."
"are you telling me they have to eat one of my grandbabies and then we'll talk?"
"well, i'm sorry ma'am but those gators are in their natural habitat..."
completely losing her religion, my mother-in-law -- oh, i'm so proud of her -- proclaims, "no sir! they're in my habitat!" before slamming down the phone.

anyone know how to take on a game warden and these preposterous "endangered species" laws?


Hug her neck for me. I love her "eat my grandbabies" remark best!

Bless her.

what kind of private property laws do yall have there? And how about the folks trespassing on your land to 'hunt gators'? I would think that they would have to get permission before they could release predators on your land, no?

Yes. Vote Republican.

Wow......what a story. Would love to meet your m-i-l. :)

(This sure puts things in perspective for me......I complain about going to the family 'farm' in Michigan because we have to shake everybody down for ticks. Ticks. Not something ponderous like gators. You folks really do live large down in Texas!)

I think you could probably call the state on this one. Unless the property backs up to some sort of refuge, animals that pose a credible danger to others or established wild life cannot just be dumped in your backyard. As often is the case, many people who do this believe erroneously that simply because an animal is endangered that it is untouchable. Not true, if this same game warden released bald eagles (formerly endangered, but still protected as our national bird) and they picked off every song bird in town, a trap and a moving date would be set.

In 1984, after 15 years of protection, Texas began harvesting wild alligators through a carefully monitored program. In 1987, the Fish and Wildlife Service pronounced the American alligator fully recovered and consequently removed the animal from the list of endangered species.


If it were me, I'd probably be a lot nicer to those fellas with the hunting rifles who were hunting gators. . . .not that one would allow that sort of thing. Heavens no. Perish forbid.



wow, thanks everyone!

a special nod to mrs. birthisel for doing so much homework!

i hear gator meat tastes a little like chicken...

Dear Smockmomma--

Endangered? Endangered?????? Endangered??????. Here in Florida we have one gator for every seven people. The gators are doing just fine thank you.

And by the way, gator doesn't taste all that much like Chicken--more like rattlesnake, but greasier. Gator fritter, gator sausage and gator pate are all great ways to deal with Gator.

What is some Game Warden doing placing Gators in or on property where the people are unaware. This is the height of neglicgence and ignorance and he should have his pants sued off. Here in Florida when a gator gets to be 4-6 feet long the animal control people drag it out of the retention pond and send it off to the Everglades.

Tell those Texas yahoos that Gators rightly belong to the Cajuns and they oughtta work at increading the population over there rather than threatening good solid Texas citizens with monstrous prehistoric reptiles.



Just lure that fella into a blind alley. If he can't go left, right or forward,, he''s stuck, since he can't control hi tail well enough to back up. Gators have no reverse.

Once he's stuck, find that big lump right above his eyes. Then find a ballpeen hammer or a baseball bat. Introduce the two, forcefully.

wow! great suggestions, gentlemen! i wonder if mr. keilholtz could cook up a mean gator.

Alligator Tacos

1 pound alligator meat (fresh from your backyard)
2 cups marinade (1 cup buttermilk ranch dressing mixed with 1 cup amber or dark beer)
2 limes
2 tablespoons Cajun seasoning
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup Cajun salsa (see web)
8 corn tortillas
1 cup Cajun guacamole (see web)

Cut alligator into 1/4-inch pieces. Add to marinade and refrigerate overnight.

In a medium bowl, combine juice of 1 lime, Cajun seasoning, salt and 1 cup Cajun salsa. Mix well. Set aside.

Heat tortillas on a hot griddle or skillet in a small amount of oil. Set aside.

Remove alligator from marinade. In a cast-iron skillet or on a hot griddle, brown the alligator pieces. Add the salsa mixture to the skillet and cook until heated through.

Spoon warm alligator-and-salsa mixture into tortillas. Top with Cajun guacamole and lime.

Makes 4 servings.

YOU are one cool chick, lauren.



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