If you are a subscriber to National Review:


Please turn immediately to page 42 and read the absolutely hysterical page written by Rob Long called "From the Warden's Mailbox, June 2005". I am a huge fan of Martha Stewart, but this parody of letters about and from her are a stitch. For just a taste, here is a "letter" from Joe the Prison Cook:

Dear Warden:

I was a Marine cook for 25 years, some of them in Khe Sahn with Charlie breathing death down every day and every night and I never had a complaint in all that time about my brownies being "too cakey." So you either get Miss Knows-Everything out of my kitchen or that's the last you'll see of me and that's aloha on a steel guitar and don't think I won't because I've got my Socal and my pension and my VA money coming monthly and putting up with her cr*p about my beef stew ain't worth it.

Joe the Cook

Martha's "letter" to the warden is priceless! Here's just one part:

The crafts shed really is tragically undersupplied. I have instructed my staff at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia (MSO) to immediately furnish assorted ribbons, fabrics, paints, ceramic equipment, decoupage materials, spray adhesives, and the like (at my expense, of course), but the entire shipment has been held up in the mailroom by the presence of a dozen or so glue guns, which I have stated repeatedly are NOT firearms, but are instead necessary tools for the applique workshop and seminar that I'm conducting next week. Please see to it that ALL of the items are released from the mailroom ASAP......

Funny stuff. Big BRAVO to Rob Long.



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This page contains a single entry by MamaT published on August 6, 2004 9:20 AM.

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