why yes, as a matter of fact i do own the road

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i hate to admit it, but i just hafta: i LOVE my new ford excursion for all the wrong reasons.

when we first bought what i now lovingly refer to as "the tank" (see "never say never" post), i was really intimidated by the size, but was thrilled over the gas mileage -- yes, it's a diesel. marc begged me not to put an ďavonĒ sign on it, ďplease donít make it a girly car, mick.Ē to which i legitimately countered, ďhoney, i could put a big olí pink bow on top and a feather boa Ďround the bumper and this would still be a manly manís ride.Ē and it is. itís so big. itís so loud. and believe you me, people see you coming, or they hear you coming, and they move. they donít just move, they move. out. the. way. after almost a month behind the wheel of this big olí manly machine, iím starting to feel the power. and, i finally get it. so this is why so many people drive trucks. the excursion isnít really a truck. well, at least not in my book cuz it doesnít have the big olí open thingie in the back, but our insurance company and the state plates call it a ďTEXAS truck.Ē

mind you, iím five feet and a happy one inch tall. or, short depending on how you look at it. i have to climb into my own car for the first time in my life. and now, five months into my pregnancy, itís quite a show, i assure you. but thatís okay. cuz iím driving a tank and itís a real ego booster, lemme tell yíall.


Oh how I miss my Suburban. I had the same feeling. Only once did I regret having that "tank". It was when I was in labor dilated to 5 and had to transport to the hospital from the Birth Center. For that one moment, I hated that truck but that was the only time.

I don't know. We have both a tank as well as a little Bavarian (and mine is old enough that I am assured that it was made by German workers in Germany, not assembled here and there by whatever local rabble they could scrape together) car with an enormous engine (although it is temporarily disabled). There are advantages to both (and I am about equally aggresive a driver in either car).

For instance:

In the tank, when I cut someone off (always for a good reason, mind you. I might be a jerk, but never a mindless jerk), the person just backs off. In the Krautrocket, well, it really doesn't matter what they do, because I am faster and more maneuverable than they are. On the one hand it is like flying a B-36, on the other a Messerschmidt Bf-109. Or, to put it another way, in the Krautrocket I am the cavaleirho, and in the tank I am the toiro.

While I like the view of the road from the tank, as soon as I encounter another tank (and here in the Bay Area they are legion), the advantage is lost, and I go back to missing the superquick acceleration and the Teutonic steering ratio.

The one place I am really glad to have the tank is in the mountains, especially off road. Breaking an axle on a remote logging road is not my idea of fun.

As far as offending liberals, either one is great. One has snob appeal (and is NOT a Volvo, a car I refuse to even ride in, let alone own. Liberal death traps if you ask me), the other just screams, "Ralph Nader Hates Me!"

i'll give you that one, senor keilholtz. it is still fun to drive hubby's little kia sorento because -- while it's a little like driving a go-cart next to my excursion -- it handles like a dream and can turn on a dime.



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This page contains a single entry by smockmomma published on March 16, 2005 4:02 PM.

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