.....right in the middle of Adoration this morning.
Man! I hate it when that happens, and I have to cry. I think everyone else is looking at me and thinking What is WRONG with that woman?. I think it's funny that I have cried buckets more tears in the "formal and staid" Catholic church than I ever cried in my protestant days, even in a more evangelical-type setting where it was all about feelings. Go figure.
Anyway, I had had a meeting with my spiritual director last night, and it really gave me a lot to think about, per usual. One of the things we talked about was how Jesus just keeps showing up with that darn cross and handing it to me, then looking me in the eye and asking "Well, will you love me through this person NOW?" Every time I get to a place where I think that now I can relax a little, now I can be a little lazy, He sends another person to my figurative door. And in every encounter there is that unspoken question, Terry, will you pick up this cross for me and carry it? Do you love me enough for this?.
And, so far, most of the time, I've been able to sigh a little, whine a little to my friends, and turn and say, "Well, I think you could find someone better to do this, but OK."
Gracious to Him, I am not. At least not very often.
So imagine the smackdown when I picked up a Stations of the Cross book to meditate on during Adoration, and turned straight to the Simon of Cyrene station to read this thought:
Those in charge of Jesus' crucifixion compelled Simon of Cyrene to help carry the Lord's cross. He did not volunteer or willingly accept the task, but that is no surprise. Simon was only passing by and presumably knew little about Christ. We, on the other hand, do know Jesus. And we have heard his words about the necessity of taking up our own crosses each day and walking in his footsteps. What is our response? Must we be pressed to carry our crosses, be they big or small, or do we accept them willingly?
----------------Stations of the Cross with Pope John Paul II
Good grief! Smacked down again.
Yes, Lord. And I'll try to be better, and remember that there is no way to you without the cross.
Even when I wish it were not so.