smockmomma: April 2007 Archives

don't panic, mamaT, my anti-tat status is practically legendary ~ especially considering the fact that several of my friends sport body "art" as well as the fact that i actually fall into the fastest growing demographic for tattooing...is that a word?...which is middle-class suburban women, good Lord deliver us. i've even been quoted somewhere here in blogdom as having said, "i don't care how many moms have tattoos, they're still tacky."

that said, if we summa mamas were to experience a major collective brainfart and don these little suckers, i figure they must first be placed in soft, pliable places (absolutely no tramp stamps, they look way too painful) and, second, they would have to encapsulate our love of all things literary. i humbly propose the following:

too scary? then perhaps something less funereal:

oh wait. "read or die" is pretty funereal. okay. how about something with an ethnic flare?

well, perhaps we could ask our dear readers to write in and vote like they do on all those reality shows. whatsay? and, until we are ready to bite the bullet we might just try the temporary variety of these cute little buggers at archie mcphee ~ one of my favorite places to shop! check out their illustrated librarian temporary tattoos. they're totally coolmoe and très fun!

this is sort of cute in a weird way. or, maybe not. just see for yourself.

for umpteen generations now (okay, i exaggerate, this probably makes generation three or four) whenever someone in my family -- how can i put it delicately? um ... well, passes gas, they will gasp and look at the ground and bemoan, ohh ... that poor frog. get it? i'm not sure what a real frog sounds like whenever it is stepped on, but i'm sure it isn't so very far a cry from ... well, mr. f. hart. much to my dismay, older brother duncan of course encourages the boys to cry poot! whenever they let each little bean be heard, but i prefer the "frog line" because it seems a tadpole more delicate. well, maybe not, but is there ever really an appropriate response to that situation? i think not. besides, there aren't really any better euphemisms for passing gas than, oops! i stepped on a frog are there? but as usual, i digress.

the other day i was dressing the smocktwins in cute new outfits that i picked up at divine consign (it's like a super titanic garage sale and i highly recommend visiting one in your area). anyway, the outfits were almost identical except the shirt of one featured a dinosaur (for donovan) and one sported a frog (for davis).

donovan first pointed to his shirt and asked, dis? i told him, it's a dinosaur. a dinosaur says grrrowl! then, davis pointed to his shirt and asked, dis? i said, this is a frog. a frog says... at which point davis interjected exclaiming poot!

now, if you don't see the humor in this, forgive me. i laughed until my sides hurt. my poor baby really thinks that *that* is the sound a frog makes. we're trying to convince him that a frog says ribbit! but i'm guessing it will take some time because our "frog line" isn't going away anytime soon; it's a habit. besides, everyone laughs when we use it. if you don't believe me, i suggest you try it the next time you toot your own horn.