Dennis Prager: Why young women are exposing themselves: Part one
Though I have no daughters, this is a question that is close to my heart, and SisterM and I have discussed it many times. What is up with all the rabidly provocative clothes that some young women (and even girls) are wearing? I think Mr. Prager has brought some good ideas to the table on this; ones I had never considered.
I am particularly drawn to the idea of the misunderstanding of equality. We've stepped beyond the bounds of "equal worth before God and the law" into the land of "we're all just the same, really, underneath superficial differences."
It has never made sense to me, as someone who came of age in the early seventies--the "I am Woman Hear Me Roar" phase--that women would want to hold power by making themselves the functional equivalent of men. "Nothin' special about US" seemed to become the mantra. And the male standard of behavior, certainly sexually but also in the workplace, etc., became the norm to strive for. But this very "norm" made many women uncomfortable and unhappy.
New studies of college women have shown that many of them still dream of that "getting married and having babies" future, while behaving in a way inconsistent with developing the kind of relationship that they profess to want on a long term basis. It is difficult to find the man of your dreams--the one who will be faithful to you and help you love and rear children--when you are busy going out to big parties, drinking more than you should, and "hooking up." The two just don't mesh very well. The kind of guy who is looking for "hook-ups" isn't going to turn into the faithful and loyal husband--not until some big time turning point in his life. If that EVER happens.
Women make a big deal about those men who are "commitment phobic." Is that really so surprising? We live in a society that encourages sexual freedom; why give up that freedom to stick with just one woman?
I also think Mr. Prager is spot-on with his take on the loss of femininity. I don't think that we've LOST it so much as perverted it to be all about breasts and bottoms, tummies and legs. Instead of covering it up, we've put it out there for everyone to see. After all, they'll be excited and entranced with us if the can SEE everything. Won't they, won't they, won't they?
Well, they might be excited, but they ain't gonna be interested forever. It's the rare man who wants a wife who shows everything all the time to everyone. It might be ok for a trophy date. But not for the mother of his CHILDREN for heaven's sake. And then women are surprised that men go on to the next thing.....
Look, I'm not dogging women. It's not just them that have fallen into the trap. But they are the ones who are paying the big price. Trying to be something that doesn't make them happy in the long run.
Terry, not being a woman, but having a stepsister who went through this phase, my vote is for acceptance. We have sexualized our society so much that no one cares if young girls are smart, funny, or even pretty. They have to be sexy. Don't believe me...go to the preteen section in any store and look for the thong underwear. You could also go to the teen girl section and look at the tee shirts and notice that they are the same size as the ones sold in the preteen section.
Young girls and boys have always looked up to their older "role modles" for fashion and language trends. The problem is, today's role models don't want to be, and will say so. Cristina and Britney have both said that they know young girls look up to them, but the didn't sign up to be a role model. Yes girls, you did. When you signed up for an industry that targets my sister, and will one day target my Goddaughters and cashed that first check, you agreed to it.
I don't have kids, but I can vaguely remember my teen years. If a young teen girl has to have an entertainment role model, pick Stacie Oricco. If you are horrified by the thought of modeling yourself after a Christian singer, maybe you should ask yourself why. If you have to model someone more "mainstream," pick Amy Lee from Evanescence. I love this girl not only for her music, but because she stopped a concert long enough to dress down a guy in the audience for asking her to show them her ****. Not sure if she wears thong underwear, because she seems to be a girl that knows that underwear means under something else.
Here is an even better thought. How about being your own role model, or maybe your mom as a teen...maybe without the hair. At least pick a woman who doesn't degrade herself for a paycheck.
Christian
I was such an idiot. I was all about marriage and babies, but I thought modesty must be an "outdated" virtue -- honestly, I wasn't usually that illogical. I just thought, how did they expect us to find boyfriends and thus husbands who weren't "weird" if we didn't try to look sexy? I was a lot thinner then, but I can only be glad that I never judged myself quite as exposable as others and stuck to low-cut, short and tight clothing instead of large amounts of missing clothing.
I was really shy and lacking in social skills and most of the attention I got was from guys yelling things out car windows. (I was told there are actually girls who respond to this sort of attention. At least I wasn't that misguided!) I would have preferred a chaste Catholic guy but I expected him to judge me on the external criteria.
yes, well...the fifth and all that.
Well, I have the excuse that I was a heathen savage!