Wisdom my mama sent me....

** WHAT HE SAYS / WHAT HE MEANS **

** "I'm going fishing."
Really means: "I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in
my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

** "It's a guy thing."
Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

** "Can I help with dinner?"
Really means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

** "Uh-huh." "Sure, honey." "Yes, dear."
Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

** "It would take too long to explain."
Really means: "I have no idea how it works."

** "We're going to be late."
Really means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like
a maniac."

** "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

** "That's interesting, dear."
Really means: "Are you still talking?"

** "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

** "I can't find it."
Really means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so
I'm completely clueless."

** "You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize
it could be worse."

** "You look terrific."
Really means: "Please don't try on one more outfit. I'm
starving."

** "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Tee hee! With the most wonderful husband and gloriously lovely Zteen, I can really relate to the "I can't find it" one. It's gotten to the point where I tell them, "If I walk in and find it in less than one minute, I'll scream. Look hard before I come in to look."