the other side of no

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i'll tell y'all what. i do not like being told "no." i never have and i suppose i never will. yes, a great deal stems from my inordinate sense of self worth and pride, but sometimes rejection hurts just because it hurts. i mean, if you think about it, rejection can insult anybody. whether you have incredibly low self-esteem or an enormously inflated ego, rejection smarts – and sometimes it can smart big-time.

take telemarketers . . . please. no, bad joke, sorry. anyway, take telemarketers for instance. these poor people get so many rejections they have one of the highest turnover rates in the business world. okay, i know some of you may be thinking, yeah? well good. perhaps you’re justified, but i confess i’ve always been nice to telemarketers because my best friend used to be one, so i always see a human face on the other end of the line. it doesn’t mean i won’t use my call blocker so they can never call again, but hey, i’m nice to them. i tell them right up front, sweetie, i’m not gonna buy anything so you’d best save yourself a lot of time and call someone else who might be interested. most of the time they’re very pleasant about it and some of them have actually been grateful. in fact, i even had one young lady say “thank you for being so nice to me” in a quivering voice. it broke my heart, i kid you not.

i’m the same way with people who approach me in stores. i never say “no” without adding a “thank you” and i’d rather walk on my tongue than be ugly about it. c’mon. these are fellow human beings who deserve to be treated with a little dignity, right? well, you’d think that wouldn’t you?

as y’all know i just started selling avon. well, let me tell you something, with the way some people act you’d think i was peddling dope. today, one woman cringed when i showed her a brochure; yes. she actually cringed like i was trying to hand her a poopy diaper instead of a little avon brochure. i offered another female a brochure and she sneered, “i don’t need any of that.” i swear i thought she was gonna pimp-slap me.

what’s going on here? i’m not even pushy about it. sure, i have an outgoing personality – i like the term gregarious and even consider it a compliment, but i’m not pushy about selling. you say, “no thank you” and i’m outta there. sure the “no” stings a bit (that’s a given when a person’s already feeling vulnerable), but when the “no” is at least civil, it’s much easier to try to not take it personally and go on my merry way. however, you treat me like a walking hemorrhoid and my feelings get hurt.

22 Comments

Hugs to you Smock!

Being in sales takes thick skin.

I have a friend who successfull sells Creative Memories...she just loves her products. Her love for her products does the selling.

Perhaps you can think of it like sharing products you really love with your friends. This seems to be a great way to go about it.

If someone is not interested...remember...'it's not about you.'

Listen for times to share...
'Those bugs are really getting to me.'
'Here try this'...(you whip out a sample of Skin so Soft :o) That sort of thing.

You probably know all of this...

I feel your pain...I am very thin skinned...
Share the love :o)

mrs. boucher, as usual, you just made me smile. you are the best. thank you.

I sold Avon back in the assigned territory/door to door days (I was in High School). I learned a lot about myself doing that! two of my kids also worked as telemarketers for a while, and one of them is still in sales (in a different way) and the other still works on the other end of the phone (taking incoming calls and trying to sell cellular service to the callers). It takes a lot to do that, and if you can do it, more power to you!
But really, aren't we all in a branch of that business? Isn't evangelization a kind of wanting so much to share that 'pearl of great price' with those around us?

ooooo, that's a really good thought. and yes, don't we feel vulnerable taking that first step to say, hey can i tell you about ...

but mrs. boucher made a good point, too. it's important to listen for openings. also, something i've learned about evangelizing is that "lifestyle evangelism" as it's called is the best way to interest people.

*blink* Did Smockmomma just use "pimp-slap" in a post? You've just made my day! :)

Well, I just had to give my point of view to one of my favorite people in the whole wide world! I use to sell AVON, too. I know the rejection business quite well. HOWEVER, I also know the "Yes, I've been trying to find an AVON lady!" Oh, that feeling can kick the rejections to the curb real quick! So God Bless you and be with you in your endeavors to be an AVON lady. I love you more! Netters

I was a telemarketer...for four days.
I am a bookseller in a crummy Waldenbooks. We are supposed to ask everyone who enters the store if they need help and point out the values for the day. We are not offended if you say no. Customers shouldn't be nervous or feel they have to make up excuses. We ask everyone. It's a formality, like a lot of other work b.s. is.

Great, now I feel guilty for always claiming to be Amish when telemarketers call trying to sell me phone or cable-tv services. Or letting the cable girl get through her whole pitch before I ask "Will I need a television to use your service?"

I'd like to say I stopped yanking their chains because it isn't right, but truth be told, it's the do not call lists that have done it.

Sales is a grueling profession. When Cacc and I were very newly married and very hungry, we took evening jobs as telemarketers, so we know. I can't think why people should be rude to you: I've never used makeup myself, and I've given up trying to conceal my struggles for breath when overcome by Ambient Perfume Poisoning, but I don't scowl at the Avon Lady. Sheesh.

Well, for some institutions "No, thank you" does not seem to work and never will. Take the Fort Worth Star Telegram. They called us every Tuesday and Saturday at 8 am and 4 pm every week for six months. We tried polite, curt, but not rude, then rude, then we would just hang up as soon as they said who they were. Then we thought we'd reason with them. We are conservative Catholics, your paper does not reflect our needs or views. We tried that 3 or 4 times, before my husband and I hit upon the perfect answer. First thing Saturday morning Joseph and I actually fought over who was going to get to do it. Then the phone rang and I got the phone. I listened to the whole speech, "Hello, my name is Reggie and I am calling on behalf of the For Worth Star Telegram. We noticed that you do not have a subscription and would like to extend to you a introductory price of $0.23 an issue for the next 3 months." I took a breathand said as smoothly, yet humbly as possible: I'm sorry we can't read. I think you call it illiterate.
The man on the other end of the phone was so apologetic and embarressed I never heard from them again.

Since then I have had my own adventures in Advocare and Pampered Chef. . . sales is hard stuff. Keep with it.

you sweet people restore my faith in humanity!

I'm going to have to remember some of Franklin's comebacks. One time I told someone selling curtains that we lived in an underground house and didn't have windows. But in general I try to be nice and quickly say, "No thank you, we don't do business over the phone."

Can the Amish HAVE phones? Or is that part of the joke?

I have been a telemarketer and I have been the one calling for the "brief survey." Usually I am on my very best behavior with telemarketers, but we had one very bad week when we got like 29 calls from the same long distance company, and it got to the point where every time I realized it was the same company calling, I would ask to speak with the caller's manager and then tell them as politely as they could that this was harrasment and they'd better stop or I'd file charges. Turns out our name was on a whole bunch of different lists used by a whole bunch of different telemarket services, and you have to tell each one of them "Don't call back."

Once I was feeling squirrely, and when a telemarketer called, I didn't give her a chance to say more than "How are you this evening?" I launched into one of my old telemarketing scripts that I had memorized, replacing that product with my husband's CD, trying my darndest to sell it to the poor unsuspecting telemarketer. At the end of my schpiel, she started laughing uncontrollably and hung up.

I am not at all gregarious and outgoing like Smockmomma, but I was a salesgirl at a hat store for about a month when I was 22. We were expected not to take "just looking" as an answer. My boss was this very energetic and aggressive 19-year-old who seemed to love selling, and a co-worker was a normal person who tried to sell but was reasonable about it, and I was still me, even with the title salesgirl. I enjoyed actually helping people find stuff and if they wanted to chatter about the merchandise, I was happy to go along, but just couldn't be pushy, I hate to even say anything at all else after "just looking." The actual sellers at the place tolerated me but I took a hint from never making my sales goal, and went back to my office assistant job.

What really bugged me was one time when a lady looked really, really good in one hat, but when she tried on a more expensive hat that didn't suit her as well the boss who probably had the prices memorized tried to convince her that was the one she should really take. I don't think she believed him that she looked better in it and it made me sort of embarrassed because it was so obvious to me what he was doing. And I think they were both on the expensive side, so I'd have been thrilled with either sale, but I guess I was more into customer service than sales.

sparki -- i admire you for admitting that you have, on occassion, felt "squirrely." how great is that? i love it. if i ever start a punk band it'll be called "the squirrely chicklettes." whoo-hoo!

No, the Amish do not have private phones, though I hear tell of some communities aquiring a community phone. Yes, it is part of the joke, really a jocose lie. If it weren't so outlandishly, obviously false it'd just be a plain lie, and inexcusable.

Now, so as not to cause scandal with my next anecdote, I must provide more personal information than is usually comfortable. Before beginning my conversion, I was "shacked up" with a lovely lady who will be my wife someday when certain obstacles with the Church are navigated. Since converting, we have moved to seperate rooms and live chastely. I say all this so no one thinks she is the sort of woman who would shack up with a fellow, even if she was that sort of woman only 9 months ago.

Anyway, pretty much everything is in her name, Rogers, as she is the responsible one. Anyway, I receive calls all the time from telemarketers who, assuming I am the man of the house, address me as Mr. Rogers.

I immediately inform them Mr. Rogers passed away some time ago, it was in all the papers, and I bet America's children are worse off for it.

Usually they are laughing so hard they just hang up.

Ooh, ooh! One last one!

When called by newspapers or magazines (People Magazine did to us what the FW paper did to Lauren) I always, immediately after learning they represent a media outlet, inform them that I do not do interviews. Then I apologize, wish them a nice day and hang-up.

Why anyone would be interested in an interview with a 27yo kennelman I have no idea, but they call nonetheless.

you're so wonderfully goofy, mr. rogers, er jennings! i love it.

My favorite for telemarketers is from a friend of mine:

"Oh, you know, it turns out I'm on fire. Please don't call back."

Both my father and I take them on a fun little trip. We listen at first and then respond:
"Oh, Bob you said. How are you doing Bob?"
We're very friendly, but we always tell them at the end that we're not interested at all. We also tell them to put us on their do not call list.

Unless they call the cell phone. Then I'm not as nice - I get off ASAP (it's costing me money).

I's thought people were friendlier down thar in Texas, it bein' God's country and all.

Hilarious post smock.

I didn't receive any telemarketing calls for several years -- until I decided NOT to pay for unlisted service anymore. Big mistake! (I had been receiving calls from long distance service even though I was unlisted.) Well, needless to say, I have been receiving oodles of calls now. One particular company, an insurance company, called several times a day, every day of the week. I managed to screen the calls with Caller ID. After weeks of these calls, I finally decided I'd had enough. One day I answered the phone and told the lady I was busy and I wasn't interested in the insurance. The next day they called again! This went on several times a day for another week. I got tired of this again and answered the phone. The lady went through the speil and I told her "No, thank you." She again told me how cheap the insurance was (it was for accidental death insurance while riding in public transportation -- taxi, bus, etc.) I told her I didn't take public transportation. She kept on and on about how cheap it was. Then she said she was going to transfer me to an agent. When the agent came on I told her I wasn't interested. She started the same speil and I stopped her. I told her, "Fine, send me the form and as soon as I get it I'll call the 1-800 number and cancel it. I don't want the insurance because I don't need the insurance. But if it will keep you guys from ever calling me again, then send the papers and I'll cancel when I get them." The lady didn't say anything at first and then said they didn't want to send them to me if I didn't want to check the papers out. I told her I didn't want to check the papers out. I just wanted them to stop calling me. Well, she told me that they wouldn't send the papers and they would stop calling me. And they did stop calling me! If I'd known it would be that easy, I would have done that sooner! Oh, well, live and learn!

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This page contains a single entry by smockmomma published on May 28, 2004 6:04 PM.

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