went to get my blood drawn last week -- the state has to make sure i have plenty o' time to kill the wee one in my womb if it's found to be an undesirable, you know -- and the woman drawing three vials of blood from my arm is making chit-chat. three vials takes awhile. anyway, she asks me, "so is this your first?" and i smile and reply (somewhat sheepishly -- if you can imagine that from the smock -- as i've found this usually gets the best response) that no, in fact this is my fifth child. and this professional phlebotomist who i assume should have some sense of professional decorum, responds "DaaaaAMN!"
the day before yesterday, a lady at a hyperbigsuperjumbomart was standing in front of me waiting in a fairly long line and so she decided to make the usual smalltalk, "when are you due? is it is a boy or a girl? this your first?"
sheepish grin, "no it's our fifth."
"YIKES! I bet that wasn't supposed to happen!" yuckyuckyuck
"what do you mean?"
"the pregnancy. you didn't want five did you?"
"are you serious?"
"well..." losing steam, "yeah."
"actually, we view children as a blessing, not a liability."
"oh well, if you can afford it..." and she turned around.
it makes me madder than a skillet full of scorpions when people say that. i'm seriously considering telling the next person who is so glib, "actually, i'm just waiting for our tax return to have an abortion, but people don't usually like to talk about the death of an infant so up close and personal."
Aw, Smock...
Here is what my friend Camy says,
When people say "Don't you know how that happens yet?" I say "Yah...and we REALLY like it!"
They are expecting #7.
Heck, at our parish we don't even count unless it looks like there are eight or nine chitlins. And nursing in church? It's a milk factory I tell ya.
enough to make Nuestra Seņora de la Leche proud!
Thank you for ending my writer's block!
I found those comments peak at the fifth child. With the sixth and seventh pregnancies, people just assumed I had totally lost my mind, and just gave me sypathetic smiles. One person even said to me, "You have my sympathy". I replied, "I don't need your sympathy. I am blessed beyond measure." I got a blank stare, and a shrug.
Even we guys get the comments. The most common here is "Don't you know what causes that?" and my reply is "Yeah, we enjoy it... and we're damn good at it."
Cheers -
bw
You know, in most states the AFP/Triple screen/quad screen (blood test for birth defects etc) is totally optional for the mom to get. The provider has to mention it, but you don't have to get it.
anyhow - I suggest getting Marie Bellet's CD "What I wanted to say". It has so many perfect lines to use!
alicia, you bring up a really controversial but important topic with the screening tests. i have heard that some mothers refuse. i never have because i figure forewarned is forearmed. i bet there's a good blog in there.
At the age of 49+ I am assuming (sniff) that 6 is all we'll be blessed with (plus three little souls in heaven) But the snarky comments just keep on coming. I wish I had a buck (or a Hershey bar!) for every time I've given a medical history or some other background and been questioned "Not all with the same Daddy?" I guess if I live to 99, someone will slip an incredulous "6 children, all with the same daddy" into my obit. :)
And nursing in church? It's a milk factory I tell ya. And TSO loves it.
When do the "you're done, right?"/"you must be so glad to be finished!" comments stop? They've been non-stop since I had #2 five months ago. When I tell people we want at least one more, they look at me like I'm nuts. Sheesh.
cin, a lady freaked out at me today, "five kids! [expletive] you're finished right?"
i didn't miss a beat and said, "FINISHED? we're just getting started!"
she looked at me like i'd just taken a dump in her front yard, but i proudly poked out my belly and grinned from ear to ear. it was G.R.ATE!