it's funny how a group of women -- moms to be exact -- who get together with an expectant mother feel compelled to share their birth stories, even the horror stories.
i certainly understand the beauty of shared experience and how our having given birth to another human soul is often the one thing that brings us women together -- but i think horror stories should be kept under wraps until a later date.
after what some of us have to go through to get our pearls of great price into this world, we should be able to share our stories, like war veterans. but the truly horrific stories would best be shared after Baby arrives, dontcha think? especially when one considers the natural tendency of some people to try to "one-up" each other.
at best it freaks out mom-to-be. at worst, well, it turns into a freak show.
You're right, that's why I don't share. I definitely have the worst.lol
I asked my CNM if I was on her top ten list of most traumatic scary births, she told me I WAS the list, hands down the worst she'd ever been through. Needless to say, since what happened to me was very rare, I don't share with expectant mothers. Why worry or scare them.
You are also right that it's like battle wounds. I share with anyone who seems the least bit interested.
Oh yeah, I totally agree. I have had a lot of different labor stories myself and I am careful with whom I share them.
I was once stomped in my, um, very lower middle by a very large and angry bull. If a smooth delivery compares in the least, well, I tip my hat to all of ya'll.
God bless Franklin the Brave for stepping into this blog! Ha Ha!
"Aw shucks" story for you:
I remember doing that little panic thing you do right before your first baby is born, "Am I crazy? I don't know the first thing about being a mother!" Naturally I tearfully shared that with my husband (not a really sentimental chap).
He said gently, "Well, we might diaper the baby wrong, dress him to warmly, discipline him too strictly, or not enough..."
ME: "You're not making me feel better here!"
HIM: "Wait. I only know one thing for sure... I love his mother and she loves me and if that's all we've got I'm thinking it's better than a lot of kids."
ME: "Awwww, honey!"
Personally, I have had wonderful births. While they had their moments, to be sure, none of those moments outshine the glory of the last moment - the baby is here!! I have had natural births (seven of them) and of course there is anxiety involved, but when I speak to expectant moms, I always encourage them to have confidance in their bodies and their Creator. Each birth is as individual as the person being born. It is a timeless, beautiful story, and when we tap into that Life-giving power, we are truly blessed, and never closer to God this side of heaven.
I love to share my birth stories but they are. So. Amazing. And my AP friends and I ALWAYS end up talking bout birth, the horror stories just make me glad I go with the out-of-hospital/midwife births. I'm thinking bout waterbirth this time, in my very own living room. Woo hoo, love the idea that the baby will be born in the house we own. i'm also currently in love with my uterus cause it feels really cool down there & its just the right size for 16 weeks & it is the home to my little tiny baby. Anyway. Yeah I guess I was taught by mom to Trust Birth. And I so do. I want a tshirt that says that (and I know where to get one ;) You should hear moms horror stories, she's done it all from homebirths to horrible hospital birth (me) to the vaginal then csection within a half hour from one another (yuck). See ya Sunday. OH I need to email you an avon order, actually. I'll find my catalog & do that today if I can find time ;)
Well, I have done home, hospital, birth center, emergency c-section and I'm an advocate of natural childbirth. To be fair though ladies, My last birth that went horribly wrong was a wonderful natural birth in a Birth Center right up until the scary events that necessitated transport and emergency c-section.
Things can go wrong with any birth natural or medicated to the hilt. I used to be one of those who would tell people if they would just do it naturally, they wouldn't have the problems that are so common in hospital births. While it is true that there are fewer problems in an unmedicated birth, things can still go wrong. I am now left in the unpleasant position of having to deal with all my subsequent births being scheduled managed planned with surgery and all the headaches to go along with it.
The challenge ahead of me and many women is to find a way to have a very special birth even when it has to involve surgery in a hospital. Who knows, maybe I'll write a book. Going from a very empowering natural birth experience to a scheduled c-section is bitter indeed. Sorry, I'm rambling a bit but just wanted to add that things can go wrong in and out of the hospital. The most important thing is a healthy mom and baby no matter what measures were employed to bring about that result.
Sometimes your horror is a lesson for others. Sometimes it is simply horror.
How to tell the difference? Common sense. That said: who other than other mothers will really understand your birth, good or bad? Even at my best, great birth experience I felt alone in my labor struggle. It is this bizarre communion of birth stories that gives me some solice that we are bound together through the storm of travail and more often than not the outcome is worth the painful schism of mother and child.
I think Lauren hit it on the head with the common sense argument.
One of my co-workers was regaling our very pregnant youth minister, expecting her first baby, with her three horrible birth experiences. I kept trying to change the subject, but she just wouldn't let it drop. (I was just thinking about that incident the other day, when the same co-worker was coming back from banking some blood for an operation later this month. The really nasty part of me thought I should mention how my husband lost 9 units of blood in surgery about ten years ago. Luckily - the little angel on my shoulder clobbered the demon and I zipped my lip.)