kingdom of heaven, the movie: avoid it like the plague

| | Comments (9)

smockdaddy's says, "well, the best thing i can say is it's not the absolute worst movie i've ever seen; but, it does blow my theory that there's no such thing as a bad sword movie. i can't believe it was so bad. and ridley scott? the money they must have invested ... i just can't believe it was so bad."

smockmomma's says, "no plot, bad dialogue, crappy special effects and major cheese. this does not count as my last movie before bedrest, no friggin' way!"

bottom line: bumbling bishops and blood-thirsty christians vs. benevolent and peace-loving muslims of the twelfth century all wrapped up in corny twenty-first century dialogue and sloppy, over-used special effects. it'll make you sorry that slow-motion was ever invented and wish you could demand your money, not to mention your time, back.

9 Comments

Wow I was achin' to see that one. Thanks for saving me the time & money!

we're wondering if our original eagerness to see it exacerbated our let down because we, too, were so looking forward to it.

I was never so glad to see a movie rated "R" (except maybe for Troy) because that automatically meant that Rose couldn't see it and I didn't have to take her! Your review just cements the deal. Thanks! :-)

My husband wants to see it, i'll probably let him go alone. It's long. We have it at the theater so no waste of money at least. We saw that hitchhikers one Saturday and i'm glad I didn't pay for it, I never could get into the book so a lot of the jokes went over my head I guess. la la movies.

Peace loving Muslims? It's the very maxim of fundamental Islamics to kill all infidels (everyone but them). Mohammed declared all sorts of pre-Islam Holy sites as Allah's, wiping churches off the map of Isreal. The answer by Hollywood hand-wringers to the rising number of Muslims (ya know, the ones who want us dead) in Europe vs. declining numbers of Christians is to produce movies that portray Muslims as peace lovin' good ole Joes. NOTE TO HOLLYWOOD: they still hate you even if you want to make nice-nice. Say good-bye to European cathedrals.

Dear smockmomma,

Thank you. You confirmed the impressions I got from the trailer. Of course I saw Ridley Scott and thought of that abomination Gladiator and figured that I could readily dismiss it.

You just confirmed me in my conviction.

shalom

Steven

Thanks for the heads-up!

The trailers make it look visually stunning...I wonder if I should rent it when it comes out on DVD (which should be soon given all the negative reviews) and watch it with the sound off. Just for eye candy.

no eye candy here, mrs. v. betwixt the slow-mo, fast forward, and stop motion special effects, you get the uneasy feeling that you need to urp.

Thank you! I hate wasting time and money on bad movies.

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This page contains a single entry by smockmomma published on May 10, 2005 8:28 PM.

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