shay, the professional photographer who shot this picture is a friend of the family -- normally i never would have let such a picture be taken. shay has, in fact, been asking me for a "pregnancy pose" for over seven years, but my vanity has always prevented me. why i waited until a pregnancy with twins to finally break down and allow her to photograph me and my swollen belly seems to defy all reason. of course, it was mother's day; i was an easy target. anyway, she has entitled the picture "barefoot and pregnant."
i look at this picture and all i can think is, "i can't believe i ate the whole thing." good heavens, i've never been so huge in my entire life and i promise you that it is a monumental exercise in humility on my part to post this ... this ... well, this is what it looks like to have two humans vying for space in your womb. i don't know how i can stand upright without toppling over. no wonder bedrest is just around the corner. really, it's there -- just beyond the belly.
i tell you, being pregnant with twins has been a real struggle for my claustrophobic personality. i'm finally moving into the portion of the pregnancy that it's safer for onlookers to nod and smile and keep on moving on. don't ask me how i'm doing. unless you really want to know. which, believe me, you don't.
at this point, i'm just trying to get through this with my sanity intact. i'm leaning heavily (no pun intended) on my sense of humor. i said something off the cuff the other day and a barely pregnant woman gasped, "you shouldn't be so glib about the miracle inside you!" i almost kicked her in the shins.
if i didn't have my sense of humor, i think i just might be a basket case. i want desperately to be a "what would Mary do?" sort of pregnant lady, but i'm just not cut out for it. at times it scares me -- yes, actually scares me -- that i am "stuck" with this beautiful but frightening belly for another five weeks (Lord willing) and it isn't going to end without i be ripped open from stem to stern and have two human beings grabbed outta my guts before i'm stapled shut to hold my all my insides back in place.
and until then, i cannot stop moving towards alien proportions. absolutely alien. and, speaking of aliens, just the other night i was dreaming that an alien was fighting its way out of my belly. no kidding. and when i awoke, i discovered that babyB was just trying to sleep horizontally. not gonna do it.