"Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!"
"Fanny Brice" - Funny Girl
"Women are the only realists; their whole object in life is to pit their realism against the extravagant, excessive, and occasionally drunken idealism of men."
GK Chesterton - A Handful of Authors
i was having dinner with new business acquaintance last night and somehow, after a couple of margaritas for her, one too many sweet teas for me, the conversation turned to spice and their uncanny ability to bring out the realist in their wives.
in his book, bringing up boys, dr. dobson explains how boys/men get an idea into their heads and typically "run with it" -- the implication being that they don't think things through. to drive home his point, dr. dobson shares a story from his own childhood about how, after listening to an episode of tarzan on the radio, he decides to swing between two trees in the pasture behind his house a la tarzan. sounds like fun, no? so he rushes to the shed behind his house, grabs a rope, climbs one of the trees, fastens the rope to a branch and swings. it wasn't until he was lying flat on his back with a broken rib and fractured arm that he realized, uggh, maybe i should have measured the rope. dobson contends that if it had been a girl who wanted to swing a la jane, she would have thought the situation through with questions like what texture of rope should i use? rope or ribbon? what color of ribbon should i use? purple or pink? and the ever important: how long should the pink ribbon be? the point is that women think things through.
marc has told me, on more than one occasion mind you, when i want your opinion, i'll ask for it. and has added, i'll only ask your opinion when i want to know why such-and-such is a bad idea. you see, he expects me to rain on his parade. my friend was telling me of similar situations with her own husband. we commiserated that men simply expect their wives to be big ol' wet blankets, but is that truly the case? i don't think so. i think we just think things through and can see potential problems that men just don't see.
Ah, yes, the constant struggle between MamaT and PapaC--"You're a pessimist!" "No, I'm not, I'm just realistic about things!"
I think it's why men are, IN GENERAL, better gamblers, better game players, etc. They look at it, assess risk, assume it won't happen to THEM and mush on. When we play dominoes, PapaC and I could have the same hand and I'd bid much lower on it--because what if they have THIS domino, or THIS domino, or THIS domino. His theory is--well, there's a 1 in 5 chance against me, BID HIGH. Go for it!
Now, that is certainly stereotypical. Some marriages I know are exactly the opposite: extremely cautious husband, adventurous wife. But I think there is something in our nesting, nurturing nature that makes us normally the protective of security types. And for them? Well, you don't kill a woolly mammoth using a sharpened stick by not being aggressive!
This is treacherous territory. I probably shouldn't say anything.
now that took foresight! perhaps our dear mr. luse is an exeption to the rule?
Oh, yes you should! Say it! Say it!
If men didn't seize an idea and "typically run with it," the world would be a more peaceful place, but it might also be lacking things like washing machines and robotic vacuum cleaners. Men are risk takers, and women are risk averse. They call the men home to remember what's really important.
i like that.