so why is it that all the unintelligent and surly people have jobs? i mean, iffin we're in a recession and the economy is in such an all-get-out mess, why aren't all the smart, happy people applying for jobs down ta'the supertarget?
i love me some supertarget. lawd knows i do. but i can guarandamntee you that i don't shop there for the service. answer me this: is it a requirement on the supertarget job application that you (a) must sport either a dramatic neck tattoo(1) or a skin-collar fashioned from hickeys, and that you (b) hold a degree in determined detachment or at least have a g.e.d. in the art of dogged indifference? i mean, is there a disclaimer stating that you can proffer customers nothing more engaging than monosyllabic grunts? because, i swear that every single employee that i have ever encountered behind a register at our supertarget fits this bill.(2)
i'm a pretty chatty cathy. smockdaddy says i'm the sort who never meets a stranger. i'll admit, i am rather proud of my ability to elicit at least a grin or a giggle out of just about anybody breathing. but at supertarget? forget it, mac. the lady who helped me - and i use both the terms lady and helped, ooohhh sooo loosely - with my purchase last week scarcely even acknowledged my presence; rather, she kvetched to the ape leaning against the counter behind her while she mindlessly slid my products across the scanner. and when she was finished? she tossed the fabuloso floor cleaner bottle in the little baggie with my mrs. baird's (oh joy) before robotically tapping one ghetto-fabulous fingernail on the little screen thingy showing the purchase total while she scrutinized the muck under the nails of her other gang-sign-tattooed hand.
mind you, i don't expect to be indulged like a guest at the ritz-carlton. i understand that you get what you pay for, but, puh lease. i'm not asking for a song and dance, sweetie, but is eye contact too much to ask for?
(1) with all due respect to our beautifully branded la mamacita who elevates skin modification to a whole new level. i mean iffin the body art is in latin, it's totally coolmoe and therefore entirely fashiontastic.
(2) the only exception being flo, but she works in the optical mart portion of the store which, if i'm not mistaken, is independent. but, i digress.