my favorite curmudgeon

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i recently admitted that "i am ouiser boudreaux" and one of our readers inquired. in response, i'm elaborating a bit. ouiser (pronounced "weezer") boudreaux is the cantankerous character played by shirley maclaine in the definitive southern chick flick, steel magnolias. the most amazing thing about this definitive chick flick (and what drew me to the movie in the first place) is that it was written by a man.
steel magnolias was first a play, based loosely on events in the life of robert harling and the community of natchitoches, louisiana. harding wrote the play as a form of therapy after his sister died of complications of diabetes. the play was a huge success off-broadway. harling was then asked to write the screenplay. the movie was an instant blockbuster, owing in no small part to the incredibly talented all-star cast which included sally field, dolly parton, and virtual newcomer julia roberts who, at post-production of steel magnolias, was still promoting the opening of mystic pizza. harling, who graduated from law school at tulane university, has enjoyed fair success in hollywood as a screenwriter ever since.
anyway, back to ouiser…the most famous ouiser-isms are “i'm not crazy, m’lynn, i've just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years" and “the only reason people are nice to me is because i have more money than God.” one of my favorites is: "i do not see plays, because i can nap at home for free. and i don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! and i don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries."
but here is the list of ouiserisms that, if you spend any time at all with me, you’ll hear me quote:

a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
this is it. i have found it. i'm in hell.
you are evil, and you must be destroyed.
i'm not as sweet as i use t'be.
you are a pig from hell!
i can’t seem to get enough grease into muh dite.
[caveat: obscenity to follow]
i'm pleasant. dammit, i'm pleasant! why, i saw drum eatenton at the piggly wiggly this morning, and i smiled at the sonuvabitch a'for i could help m’self.


I just assumed that it meant you were Cajun (I never saw the movie). In Cajun country they tell Boudreaux jokes (featuring Boudreaux and his wife Marie). I think that the accordionist Marc Savoy probably knows more of them than any other living person. Whenever the Savoys came to Arhoolie, we spent a good part of the time wth them listening to Marc tell Boudreaux jokes.

You mean like the time Boudreaux ran for Parish Commissioner?

"I ain't voting for no SOB that don't know the difference between a steamboat whistle and a cow with a bugle in its butt."

Weezer is one cranky momma! I can not believe that her real name is spelled with an 'O'.
(That from Boucher)

My favorite cranky person of all time is Norman Thayer from On Golden Pond! He reminds me so of my husband...I am cheerful Ethyl or Edith...

"Wanna see my teeth"

ethyl thayer? thounds like i'm listhping, dothn't it?

Sorry. Can't resist:

Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog in his mout. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie. Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid.

Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux, him, had a real good grip on his haid.

Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his baitcan. Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker. He pour some draps into de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his
body go limp. Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes back to fishin'.

A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe. He slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was....... with two frogs.


sed ex natu South Carolina,
rather than Louisiana



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This page contains a single entry by smockmomma published on May 10, 2004 10:41 PM.

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