i recently admitted that "i am ouiser boudreaux" and one of our readers inquired. in response, i'm elaborating a bit. ouiser (pronounced "weezer") boudreaux is the cantankerous character played by shirley maclaine in the definitive southern chick flick, steel magnolias. the most amazing thing about this definitive chick flick (and what drew me to the movie in the first place) is that it was written by a man.
steel magnolias was first a play, based loosely on events in the life of robert harling and the community of natchitoches, louisiana. harding wrote the play as a form of therapy after his sister died of complications of diabetes. the play was a huge success off-broadway. harling was then asked to write the screenplay. the movie was an instant blockbuster, owing in no small part to the incredibly talented all-star cast which included sally field, dolly parton, and virtual newcomer julia roberts who, at post-production of steel magnolias, was still promoting the opening of mystic pizza. harling, who graduated from law school at tulane university, has enjoyed fair success in hollywood as a screenwriter ever since.
anyway, back to ouiser…the most famous ouiser-isms are “i'm not crazy, m’lynn, i've just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years" and “the only reason people are nice to me is because i have more money than God.” one of my favorites is: "i do not see plays, because i can nap at home for free. and i don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! and i don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries."
but here is the list of ouiserisms that, if you spend any time at all with me, you’ll hear me quote:
a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
this is it. i have found it. i'm in hell.
you are evil, and you must be destroyed.
i'm not as sweet as i use t'be.
you are a pig from hell!
i can’t seem to get enough grease into muh dite.
[caveat: obscenity to follow]
i'm pleasant. dammit, i'm pleasant! why, i saw drum eatenton at the piggly wiggly this morning, and i smiled at the sonuvabitch a'for i could help m’self.