okay, maybe i shouldn't blame google because i could just as well be blaming dictionary.com for my very poor spelling habits. is it just me, or does everyone have to look up the same things over and over again these days? am i not retaining the information because (a) i'm no longer a spring chicken and my brain cells are aging, (b) i have a husband and six children to look after and if i try to retain even just one more piece of information, i'll lose something really important like my address or my first name, or (c) my lazy brain just assumes i can readily and easily retrieve the same information again tomorrow?
this topic may seem silly, but it taps into a really touchy subject for me. you see, as a person who is surrounded by a lot of really smart people -- not brainiacs, exactly, but definitely cerebral types* - it is very easy for me to feel, shall we say -- ah heck, let's face it, intellectually impotent. and because, when i'm on a roll, i happen to have a pretty darn good vocabulary - though you wouldn't know it from reading my blog entries, wouldya? - people tend to assume that i'm pretty smart, too. thing is, i always feel like an imposter. like, one of these days someone is going to figure out that i'm just a intellectual poseur and demand my mensa card be revoked.
i don't think i try to put on airs or anything** but it's the whole "birds of a feather" thing. because i occassionally sound smart and i'm often seen in the company of pretty smart people, others naturally assume i'm right up there with 'em. of course, they say that people tend to become more and more like the company they keep, so you should surround yourself with the type of people that you want to be more like. so it makes sense that i would fancy surrounding myself with smart wealthy people right? well, as soon as i find a lot of well-heeled people, i'll start hobnobbing with them, but for now I'll just be hangin' out with really clever people and keep googling on the sly.
* okay, okay, in point of fact i do know several brainiacs; but i don't hang out with them much because the feelings of inadequacy are just far too heavy to handle for longer than, say, a really delightful meal. these scenes are okay, cuz iffin i don't know the proper response or at least have some charming bon mot to share, i just shove an extra helping of sirloin into my face and chew until the subject moves on to simpler topics.
** you can bet your bottom dollar i googled that phrase.