smockmomma: January 2009 Archives

so, is this the voice of reason or the voice of hell? you may think i'm kidding, using a bit of hyperbole to bring my point across, but i'm not. doesn't nancy sound so reasonable? "we have to deal with the consequences of the downturn in our economy." which consequences would that be, nancy? the same consequences president BO mentioned as mistakes? sounds like nancy wants to go around her elbow to get to her thumb.

this all reminds me of a quote from broadcast news, when as albert brooks, as aaron, says to as holly hunter, as jane:

what do you think the devil is going to look like if he's around? c'mon! nobody's gonna be taken in by a guy with a long, red, pointy tail ... no. i'm semi-serious here. he will be attractive, he'll be nice and helpful. he'll get a job where he influences a great god-fearing nation. he'll never do an evil thing. he'll never deliberately hurt a living thing ... he'll just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. just coax along -- flash over substance -- just a tiny little bit. and he will talk about all of us really being salesmen.

well, at least we know where their priorities are.

i'm beginning to think i'm the last man standing. . .
on something -- anything -- other than a wii fit.

we know how militant the mamas are about breastfeeding. so here's a great pic of a statue of nuestra senora de la leche y buen parto for you to marvel at. also, here's a link to the site that has a great story about the original statue.

big ol' smock-nod to TS, of Video Meliora fame, with thanks for sharing the photo.

the only c&w music i can seem to cotton is the c&w music i grew up with. don't know iffin' it's because they had better music then or whether i just never listen to it enough to find the good stuff these days. of course, miss parton is a classic.

To foreigners, a Yankee is an American.
To Americans, a Yankee is a Northerner.
To Northerners, a Yankee is an Easterner.
To Easterners, a Yankee is a New Englander.
To New Englanders, a Yankee is a Vermonter.
And in Vermont, a Yankee is somebody who eats pie for breakfast.

the smock found this little ditty on an old piece of paper. any of y'all know to whom it is attributed?

It's my turn to take a whack at this "First Line" thingie going around, except I'm no good at music, so I'm going to post a line from some of my favorite MOVIES and see iffin' you can guess what they are. Instead of 25, I've included 36, and even then I had to stop myself by sheer force of will.

Just for fun, whoever can correctly answer the most movies will win 2 free movie tickets. This list will be posted on Facebook and at my blog, the summa mamas. If you are interested in playing, be sure to note that looking them up on IMDB, Google or any other search engine is CHEATING. I'll tag the line with the movie answer once they are correctly identified. Enjoy...

1. "When you polish the floor, you have to MOVE the tree." - Mommie Dearest

2. "You're no messiah. You're a movie of the week." - Se7en

3. "I'm your huckleberry." - Tombstone

4. "What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my daughters tits? Tips!" - Tootsie

5. "Violet, I didn't know you smoked! And you roll your own?" - 9 to 5

6. "As long as the lady's paying for it, why not take the Vicuna?"

7. "Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women." - J*ws

8. "Everybody's innocent in here. Didn't you know that?" - Shawshank Redemption

9. "Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancée, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store -- but that was really an accident." - Moonstruck

10. "Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?" - Annie Hall

11. "However, I do not wish to lose my temper, because very shortly, I shall lose my head." - Monsieur Verdoux

12. "How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?" - Usual Suspects

13. "Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging." - Bullets Over Broadway

14. "You can milk just about anything with nipples." - Meet the Parents

15. "So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper." - Fargo

16. "He be home soon, I'm sure. He say he go out to buy socks."

17. "I'm sorry I had to fight in the middle of your Black Panther party." - Forrest Gump

18. "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster." - Goodfellas

19. "I wanted the night... you see... and here it is..."

20. "I'd slid halfway down that mountain before I realized -- Gustav had pushed me." - The Women (1939)

21. "I'm taking mom to show and tell." - The Incredible Shrinking Woman

22. "People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch." - As Good As It Gets

23. "Like most intellectuals, he's intensely stupid." - Dangerous Liaisons

24. "I always thought it'd be better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody."

25. "I'm a gawddamn marvel of modern science." - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

26. "Feel free to call me 'The Sultan.'"

27. "Me an' the old lady are gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking." - O Brother, Where Art Thou?

28. "I guess I started smoking when I was about... four. My momma was already dead then from lung cancer."

29. "No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then *smooches* is an ass-kisser." - Broadcast News

30. "Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase." - Raising Arizona

31. ""Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead." - Pulp Fiction

32. "Kill her, Mommy. Kill her."

33. "That's a human ear all right." - Blue Velvet

34. "Although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move." - 2001: A Space Odyssey

35. "Neighbors bring food with death and flowers with sickness, and little things in between." - To Kill A Mockingbird

36. "You're not a god. You can take my word for it; this is twelve years of Catholic school talking." - Groundhog Day

from a facebook pal i happen to agree with . . .

Please read the information below and join us in prayer and fasting January 11-19, 2009.

The Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) will be signed into law if Congress passes it on January 21-22, 2009. If signed into law, ALL limitations on abortion will be lifted, resulting in the following:

1) All hospitals, including Catholic hospitals, will be required to perform abortions upon request. If this happens, Bishops vow to close down all Catholic hospitals - more then 30% of all hospitals in the U.S.

2) Partial birth abortions will be legal and have no limitations.

3) All U.S. taxpayers will be funding abortions.

4) Informed consent laws protecting women would be eliminated

5) Parental notification of abortions on minors will no longer be required (regardless of age).

Just as important, the government will now have control in the issue of abortion. This could result in a future amendment that would force women by law to have abortions in certain situations (rape, Down Syndrome babies, etc) and could even regulate how many children women are allowed to have.

Needless to say this information is disturbing, but sadly true. As Catholics, as Christians, as anyone who is against the needless killing of innocent children, we must stand as one.

PLEASE JOIN US IN saying a novena (9 days of prayer) and fasting from January 11-19. For Catholics, the prayer of choice is the rosary for the special intention of stopping the FOCA. For non-Catholics we encourage you to pray your strongest prayers with the same intention for 9 consecutive days. We hope and pray this will branch and blossom to become a global effort.

steve perry IS journey. and, if you look very closely, you'll see sexy dripping from his pores.

so i taped the biggest loser and watched it for the very first time last night. never seen an epsiode of this show, ever. i figured it was just another exploitative reality-vision cheap shot that would chap my hide due to an "oh my GAWD, would you look at the stupid fat people?" attitude, or even worse, an "oh my gawd, would you look at those poor stupid fat people? bwah-HA-HA, lookatem' go!"

don't ask why i taped it, cuz i don't rightly know. okay, that is a lie. i do know. smockdaddy and i just started dieting together. smockdaddy of the eager "will their be humiliation involved for the loser?" mindset and smockmomma, who would rather gnaw off her own arm than actually compete against someone. yes. dieting. dieting together. as in teamwork, God help us. but i digress...

i saw a commercial while watching bonnie hunt -- if you don't watch bonnie's show, you should.* on the commercial for the biggest loser, it mentioned that the brand new season was starting that night and that it would involve couples. well, that piqued my interest because i figured we'd get to see the inside scoop on the dynamics of couples losing weight together, and i'd get in on the ground floor, so to speak, because i hate trying to start a show mid-season. anyway, i thought it would be couple-couples. like spice, you know? well, it isn't. it's just teams of two. well, that's a big difference. i mean, you'll respond differently to a husband egging you on than you will to a friend or a sister egging you on. okay, maybe it's just me, but honestly, i don't think so. if mamaT were to get all up in my grill [which she has never done, by the way] it certainly wouldn't push me into the third dimension that smockdaddy would.

well, after i got over my initial disappointment that a couple could be any ol' body [disappointment, again, because i thought it would be like married couples and i wanted to relate, y'know?], i figured what the heck, i'll give it a go. and, lemme tell you, i am surprisingly impressed. i don't think i'm watching exploitation -- no one is there against their will and they know full-well what they are signing up for -- but that remains to be seen, i guess. i was very touched by the honesty and the integrity of the contestants and even by, what i assume is evenhandedness, with the editing. i can't tell you how many ounces i myself shed just from crying with these people. my heart goes out to them. it really does. even smockdaddy had to admit that he was moved by some of the stories and situations. he kept glancing at me every few minutes and patting my leg. "it's okay," he'd say. "are you okay?" he'd ask. several times i was weeping so hard i couldn't even speak. i'm not sure how motivated i'll be by the show, but i do know that i'll be tuning in for more. heck, i'm already playing favorites! i just hope that i don't get so angry at jillian -- who is the "bad cop" trainer and, erm ... well, a bitch -- that i have to stop watching the show. i'll keep you posted.

*because miss hunt is talented, beautiful, retro, and she loves her mom. go to her website here.