smockmomma: July 2004 Archives

dear summa mamas


(this is an "unsolicited rant" sent by one of our wonderful readers)

This is a link about that idiot woman who got caught selling sex toys in Burleson.

Here's the rant: who does she think she is-- the Sex Crusader?! This sort of stuff makes me crazy. Here she is, they've dropped the charges against her, but that's not good enough, no . . . she has to overturn the law . . . in court. What?!?!

She has said that she feels like this is her duty because it makes woman feel like their sexuality is obscene. Really? Try being pregnant and nursing for five straight years, no one will be able to tell your sexuality is obscene after every last person you meet in the grocery store line asks if you know how you get that way. Further more, in this particular article she has now deigned herself some sort of marriage repair consultant: I'm just keeping couples together. . . brah, brah, brah (as my husband's Japanese teacher would say). How utterly absurd.

Some communities choose to not allow alcohol sales, passing up the revenue for higher moral principals (supposedly), some don't want drug paraphernalia sold in their city (Arlington, though, somehow their are more "tobacco shops" there than Fort Worth), and some choose to disallow the sale of phallic shaped vibrators and other gross, smutty items. The community chose that at some point based on what the law allowed them to do. Don't like it? MOVE!

The thing that is so astonishing about the whole thing is that she was arrested on a misdemeanor which was dropped and instead of finding another location to do business, she still sells the stuff willy-nilly.

Which brings me to my other point: don't keep laws you won't enforce. Otherwise this little system called checks and balances goes hay-wire and you end up with activists judges legislating from the bench . . . oh wait, that happens all the time now! Who knew a racially motivated decision like "Ms. Roe was gang raped by Negroes, your Honors, it is violation of her person-hood if she can't have an abortion . . ." brah, brah, brah
That was a lie and so is this. And selfish! Don't get me started.

I would send this to the Startle-gram, but having such an unusual name draws to much criticism to the rest of the family, who probably thinks I'm wrong anyway.

Sorry for the rant . . . this stuff just makes me bonkers. And you know the lie is that some how she is the promoter of intimacy. Whereas those of us who choose this "prudish" lifestyle of NFP etc . . . well, we are just clouded by Puritanical motives. Marriage promotion she calls it, puh-lease.

it's official...i've moved into avon cult status. i'm hauling my cookies all the way down to houston (my home town) to sign up a new representative. whazzup widat? see y'all next week...if they don't make me their queen.

take a look at elena's posting on judas and kerry.

also, in case you are one of the three people in the United States who has not seen the JibJab video of bush and kerry, you can check it out here (mature language alert).

dat bwessed awangement

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A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.

A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked him,
"What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "150."

So the robot proceeded to make conversation about
quantum physics, string theory, atomic chemistry, and
so on.

The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."

He decided to test the robot. He walked out the bar, turned around, and came back
in for another drink.

Again, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responded, "100."

So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and
so on.

The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool."

The man went out and came back in a third time.

As before, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "50."

after the legalization of gay "marriage," how far behind is the legalization of incest?
the purpose of marriage is to protect children, not sexual preferences.

do something to protect our children. now.

mamaT is gonna love this one.

nods to the jester for the heads up.

and her "top ten" reasons i'll be happy to give birth is totally coolmoe. i'm especially in agreement with her on point number four wherein she states, and i quote, "Mmmm....newborn baby head!"

please pray for the barefoot mama, her baby6, et al.


since my sister was first diagnosed with breast cancer, i've been very aware of personal breast health. believe it or not, it wasn't until i started selling avon (a company that donates significant sums of money to breast cancer research and strongly champions breast cancer awareness) that i realized how important it is to TALK about it. i'm amazed by the number of women i know who do not perform regular self-exams! especially women who practice NFP! if you chart (through CLC booklets), you are reminded on "day 6" of every cycle to perform this potentially life-saving exam. hellooo? c'mon ladies. you know your breasts better than anyone else.

if you find any lumps, thickenings, or changes, tell your doctor right away. . .breast cancer may be successfully treated if you find it early. by the grace of God, early detection has given my sister a second chance at life.

the american cancer society guidelines for the early detection of breast cancer:
if you are 20-39, have a clinical breast exam by your health care provider at least every three years and do a breast self-exam each month.
if you are are 40 and over, have a mammogram as well as a clinical breast exam by your health care provider every year and do a breast self-exam each month.
you can ask your doctor to teach you the proper way to do a thorough breast self-exam.

if you have a history of breast cancer in your family, discuss mammography screening guidelines and scheduling with your doctor.

for more information about breast cancer, call toll free 1-800-ACS-2345 or visit their website

gator.gif when truth is stranger than fiction, you know liberal green beanies must somehow be involved.

my in-laws have owned a fair piece of property here in Texas for about thirty years. it's a great piece of land that has lots and lots of trees and it even has a small natural spring that feeds into a pretty large pond. over the years they've built up a very nice house that they plan to retire in eventually. in the mean time, because they have a few cattle and horses roaming around, they go every weekend to tend to the animals and general upkeep of the land. also, we (the extended family) go "out to the property" several times a year. my husband's family is huge (he's one of eight children), and "the house on the property" is the only place large enough to house everyone and their children.

so you see, several times a year the whole clan gets together for special occasions, especially Christmas, Easter, independence day weekend and the like. in the warmer months, like the summertime, the family gathers even more frequently. the papas stand around the open barbeque pit telling tall tales poking at the chicken, steaks, and weenies on the fire. the mommas drink tea and play dominos on the front porch while they watch the children swim in the pond. it's absolutely idyllic. no kidding. it even makes this self-professed city gal thank God for the outdorn.

two weeks ago, bubba, my brother-in-law, mentions to my father-in-law (whom i call pop), "i saw something that looks like a gator swimmin' on the pond." to which pop replied, "naw, it's prolly just a beaver."

this past weekend nanny (my mother-in-law) and pop arrive at their personal property to find three guys with hunting rifles perched on the shore of their private pond. pop asks what they're doing on his land and they reply, "we're huntin' gators."

my mother-in-law proceeds to the game warden's office. indeed, he's out to lunch. so, she goes next door to the sheriff's office. the sheriff phones the game warden who admits that he recently released some alligators into the creek "behind" my in-laws property. it's at this point that the sheriff, baffled, hands to phone to my mother-in-law.

mr. warden proceeds to tell nanny that he "done it cuz the gators are endangered in that there area."
"what about my family?" she asks.
"they prolly shouldn't go near the water."
"what about my grandbabies? they're out here all the time. this is dangerous. is there some kind of trap we can set?"
"oh no! you can't trap the gators unless they hurt somebody. it would be illegal."
"are you telling me they have to eat one of my grandbabies and then we'll talk?"
"well, i'm sorry ma'am but those gators are in their natural habitat..."
completely losing her religion, my mother-in-law -- oh, i'm so proud of her -- proclaims, "no sir! they're in my habitat!" before slamming down the phone.

anyone know how to take on a game warden and these preposterous "endangered species" laws?

style vs. substance

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''I want you to know we think this is a dream ticket...We've got better hair.'' -Senator John Kerry

only 35 U.S. senators currently support the Federal Marriage Amendment, which defines marriage as being between one man and one woman only. 45 actually oppose the amendment while 20 are "uncommitted," whatever that means.
i called both TEXAS senators this afternoon and thanked them for their support. i love this state! thanks Kay and John!

where does your senator stand?

happyann.gif happy anniversary you big ol' hunka man i love you more than i should

You are a WEDF--Wacky Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you a menace to society, depending on how you channel your energies. You chew your fingers and have an addictive personality. Properly guided, you can be enormously productive--otherwise you run amok, stir up trouble, and generally have a hell of a good time.

To your friends, you are a source of relentless entertainment. You often get into trouble, but you almost always find a way out. You are strangely popular and feed off others' energy. You live hard, seize the day, and although your more sober friends would like to see you settled down, you generally have fewer regrets and better memories than they do. Your tenet is that, at the end of the day, one regrets only what one didn't try. You are right.

You could benefit from outside help in balancing your highs and lows. Or perhaps cutting back on the caffeine.

thanks to peony of the two sleepy mommies for this dead-on accurate "better personality" quiz.

forever in the pen dance

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just-the-girls.jpg celebrate your freedom! have a safe and happy holiday weekend from the summa mamas



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This page is a archive of recent entries written by smockmomma in July 2004.

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